In this post we publish material from Divah (P. McCabe). Divah was attracted initially, I think, to idiotplayers.org by posts I made beginning back in Aug 2010 entitled “six rooms.” These pieces were prose explorations based on a short and dense passage from JG Bennett’s Dramatic Universe, Vol. 4. She has written her own exploration along this theme, and we are happy to publish it here. The final rooms, rooms 4-6, are published in this post.
I wander down the long corridor. They can’t keep me here locked up. I’m here by choice. I can leave whenever I like! So many doors… hey, this one’s open! Wow…this room is beautiful! Blue and yellow, my favourite colours and so many interesting curios in that cabinet… a tiny china-glass bell, what a lovely sound it make’s. It sound’s like the one on my bicycle when I was little. Round and round the garden I’d go ringing the bell each time I’d pass my mother who was sitting on the porch reading so she’d look at how good I was cycling on my new bike. But now… Now I feel her sadness, she’s crying, but I don’t remember her crying then… how can I see it “Now”? Am I still “Remembering”?
This is different to how I remembered this day before…I feel more… I’m no longer concentrating on keeping my bike steady. I’m feeling the breeze on my face, the sun on my back. I can smell the grass and my mother’s perfume in the air. I can hear the radio coming from inside the house playing an old song that my father used to sing to my mother. She had it played at his funeral… That’s why she’s crying !
How come I didn’t see this before? Before what? I’m back there “Now” !
Oh, mother, why didn’t I hug You then and wipe away your tears?
You’re gone Now. Is it too late? Can You feel my embrace “Now”?
I Can !
This room is not so much a room as it is a Meeting-Place. It has beds at one end and at this end there are a few tables and chairs. Flowers on each table, cheerful atmosphere. Everyone here seem’s calm. But it is not the “sedated” calm of the first place, more a contented type of calm. I like it here.
I sit at the table with my morning coffee wondering how long it’s been since I first decided to come here to this place. It seem’s like a lifetime ago. Breakfast arrives. “Must eat well to Be Well” they say. I smile. Life Is Wonderful!
A young woman joins me. She seems happy. “How long have You been Here”? she asks.
“Oh, long enough,” I say.
“It’s a lovely day. Would You like to take a walk around the grounds with me after breakfast”? she asks. Why not.
“You know,” she say’s, ” I can’t remember coming Here, in fact, I can’t remember ever ‘Not’ being here! Strange, because You’re the first person I’ve spoken to since I’ve been here. But if I’ve always been here, I should have met more people, don’t You think”?
“Depends,” I say, “On Why You’re here!”
“I told You, I’ve Always been Here. I Live Here. Why are You Here”? she asks.
“I was Lost for a long Time. I came Here to find My Way Home. You say this is your home? I like it here, maybe I’ll stay.”
“I hope You do, I like visitors.”
Strolling through the grounds, I stop at the pond and throw some bread to the ducks. What a beautiful day. The Sun is shining, the birds are singing, the ducks are eating, aaahh… wonderful. Looking back at the big house I see it has a type of conservatory. There are a couple of people sitting inside chatting. I think I’ll join them.
I greet them. They smile and nod as if they know me. One is the young woman I walked with earlier who she said that she lives here. The other is an older woman. I’m sure I don’t know her.
“Why are You here”? I ask the older woman.
“I work here”, she says.
“What is your job here”?
“I’m the Librarian. I’m in charge of All the Knowledge within these walls. Why don’t You come and have a look sometime, see if there are any books here that interest You!”
“Ok, I Will, where is it?”
“Right here, in the back of this room. Come. I’ll show You now.”
I follow her into a dark room. She switches on a light. It’s Huge! Stacks and stacks of books on every subject. I’ve never seen so many books!
“Come,” she says, “I think I have just the book for You.”
Oh, yes… this Is my type of book. Great story. “Real” characters. Good twist. Wait… the house in this story… It’s This House, and The Owner is ME”!… “This is My House!”
“Yes,” she says, “We’ve been waiting a long time for You to come Here. You’ve been away for So Long!”
“Where was I?” I ask.
“You went out to “Play” with the others in The Playground as a child and You liked The Game so much that You wanted to keep on Playing. You forgot about us and This Place. Here, WE are In Charge of All Games but we never get Lost in any of them, we just Watch and take notes! This Is a place of Learning, of Enjoyment, of Living, of Freedom! But You Must BE Yourself Here! There is no room for strangers.”
“But You’re a stranger to me! I don’t know You,” I say.
“But I know You,” she says. “All the books I take care of are kept in place for You. You wrote them all and put them in my charge so that One Day You would come Here and find Yourself in them Today Is That Day. Welcome Home!”